Ruthless Heart Read online

  “So you lashed out,” Mia finished for me in resignation. “Ava, violence isn’t the answer.”

  “They had me pressed between them like one of their whores.”

  “Ava!”

  “Sorry.” I wasn’t—not really.

  Mia gave a light chuckle as she looked at me. “You’re so wonderfully you.” After she filled our glasses again, she handed me mine. “Only you would protest being pressed between the Devils.”

  “They’re assholes.”

  “I know,” she said as she sipped her drink.

  “I had wild sex with the devil himself. He doesn’t remember. He thinks I drugged him, he doesn’t believe I didn’t, I kneed him in the balls, and that’s not even the worst part.”

  Mia hesitated slightly as she put her drink down. “There’s more?”

  “I made out with him this afternoon in Ash’s bathroom.”

  She was silent for a few moments before her head dropped into her hands. “Ava, I...none of this makes sense to me!” she wailed. “How? And more importantly...why?”

  “I don’t know!” I groaned as I fell to my side on the couch and buried my head under a cushion. “He’s so hot! And I hate him, and he kisses like...I don’t even know. And he kissed me, and I was upset, and I just...I kissed him back.”

  When there was silence, I peeked at her from under my cushion. She was sipping her drink and looking at me in slight amusement. Or exasperation. I wasn’t sure. “Who stopped the kiss?”

  “Gray.”

  Mia whistled as she sat back down. “Awkward.”

  “You have no idea.”

  “Girl, you are screwed.”

  “Yup.”

  “Like I don’t even know how to fix this.”

  “Nope.”

  “Wanna lock ourselves in so we can’t escape and get drunk?”

  “Sounds like a plan.” I reached for the bottle of Jack.

  Saturday morning, I was livid because it was game day and I wasn’t playing. Coach had offered to let me sit on the bus and accompany my teammates. I had refrained from telling him where he could stick his offer and his bus, but I was pretty confident he wasn’t a stupid man, and it didn’t need to be said.

  Sitting in my bedroom, I debated about finding Ava and more or less threatening her until she told me what I wanted to know. I had almost left the house twice to go hunt her down, but then I thought more about it, and I didn’t trust myself to be alone with her. If you asked what I didn’t trust, I wasn’t sure if it was because I would strangle her or fuck her. Maybe both?

  And while that made me snort out in disgust at myself, it gave me no assurance that she didn’t drive me insane enough to actually do it. Either option.

  Last night, I had lain awake as more and more of my memory returned. I still wasn’t clear on where we had met, but the time in here, in my bed, was playing like a full-blown porno in HD. And if I were honest, I wouldn’t mind a live replay, one where I remembered and I didn’t have to wait until I was asleep to remember the feel of her riding me.

  “This is fucked up,” I said to the empty room as I stood. “Why would I want her again? I don’t even like her.”

  I rubbed my crotch as I thought about her kneeing me in the balls. “She’s definitely a handful,” I mused as I walked aimlessly around my room. Checking the time, I noted that it was an hour before kick-off. I refused to watch. Our opponents today were okay but nothing great. As long as Ben passed to Gray or Ash, they’d hold the offence. Jamie and his defence could handle the rest.

  They would be back late evening, and even though there was a party to attend, we had other business first. Ash had tracked down another one of the guys in the films we had uncovered. Even with all the shit going on with me this week, he had been busy.

  My job this afternoon was to do some recon and then figure out if the dick had a safe in his house. I usually liked longer to plan, and having sight of blueprints never went amiss, but this was a curveball and one we weren’t supposed to be catching. However, that film was imprinted on our brain and not in a good way like Ava was.

  Growling at myself for thinking of her again, I headed to the kitchen. No game day meant I could eat more than I normally would.

  I was in the middle of a huge bowl of pasta with chicken, green beans and tomatoes with Jamie’s pesto sauce when I heard the door get knocked. The guys had a habit of keeping the door open, but I didn’t encourage it. Four times in freshman year, I’d found some random guys sitting on our sofas, watching TV. I wasn’t a fan of strangers. I wasn’t a fan of anyone really.

  I debated about ignoring it, and then my phone beeped.

  Uptight: I know you’re in there, open the door, I need to talk to you

  Me: Fuck off

  Uptight: Just open the door or I’m coming in anyway

  They hadn’t locked the door. I had checked it was closed, but I hadn’t checked it was locked. Fucking woman.

  As I strode to the front door, she stood there, hair in a messy ponytail, wearing denim shorts and a yellow T-shirt that read your drama gives me trauma.

  “What do you want?”

  “I was hoping we could talk? Without, you know...”

  “My brother?” I suggested.

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re scared of Gray?”

  “No, I just don’t think he needs to be present for a private conversation.” Ava rocked back on her heels, and I squinted at her in thought.

  “You drunk again? This one of your ‘I look sober, but I’m not’ pretences?”

  “It’s not a pretence, it happens, but no, I’m sober now.”

  “Now?”

  “Last night, when I went home, I may have had more of the bottle than I should have.” She shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal, and it wasn’t. Not to me. “Slept longer than normal, or I’d have been here sooner.”

  I grunted as we stared at each other. She wasn’t going to leave. Fuck it. “I’m eating lunch.”

  “Okay.” Ava hesitated and then seemed to make the decision. She walked into the house and closed the door behind her. “Just telling you now. This isn’t anything, and you touch me and I’ll cut it off.”

  “My hand?”

  “Any of it.” Her look was meaningful, and I couldn’t help but feel slight respect at her no-nonsense attitude.

  “Yeah? Well, don’t flatter yourself.”

  Turning on my heel, I went back to the kitchen, and as I sat at the counter, I resumed eating my food.

  “Hungry?” Her dry tone and raised eyebrow at the size of my plate didn’t bother me.

  “It’s why I’m eating.”

  Ava’s hands went into her back pockets, and she looked away from me with her eyebrows raised. “Okaaay,” she drew the word out, and I ignored her tone. “So, I spoke to my roommate about what happened the other week.”

  “Congratulations.”

  “Will you quit it? You’re being a complete dick,” Ava snapped at me as her temper frayed. She jumped when I tossed my fork onto the counter.

  “Will I quit it?” I asked her angrily. “Do you know what day it is?”

  Her cheeks reddened as she nodded and wouldn’t meet my stare. “Game day.”

  “Game day and I’m here, not playing, not on the field, but here, with you, because I’m suspended.” I stood up as I leaned over the counter to stare at her dead-on. “So no, Ava, I won’t quit it.”

  “I didn’t do this to you,” she whispered after a moment of quiet.

  “Tell me who did.”

  “I don’t know.” When she saw my anger mounting, she put her hands up to slow me down. “Dude, seriously, I do not know. But…I’m willing to tell your coach what I remember. If you think that would help you.”

  Why would she do that? I watched her as she looked at me. She held my stare, and when I cocked my head to the side to consider her further, she rolled her eyes. “What happened?” I asked her curiously.

  “What do you mean?” Ava’s face showe
d her confusion before she schooled her complexion back to smoothness.

  “You’re usually uptight and angry, now you’re almost…” I considered my words. “Pleasant.”

  Ava snorted as she relaxed slightly. “I’m not the evil bitch you think I am,” she told me as her shoulder lifted in a shrug. “My roommate is trying to convince me that whatever you got given to you, I may have had as well.” Ava dipped her head to look at her feet. “I think, with my history of being so wasted as not to remember the night, she’s reaching, but”—with a quick vulnerable glance up at me, she dipped her head again—“I guess I need to consider it.”

  “So what are you proposing? You go and speak to my coach and what? Tell him we had a night of sex that neither of us has a clear memory of how we landed in bed together, just that we did?”

  Ava rubbed her nose, and I noted it was to hide her smile at my sarcasm. “I was thinking we didn’t need to mention the sex bit and just that I also have no clear memory of the night.”

  “I already told him I woke beside a girl who I don’t remember fucking.”

  Ava’s startled gasp at my crudeness made her choke, and she coughed violently. Without thought, I was getting her a bottle of water and thumping her back, placing the water beside her as she rested her palms on the counter. I realised I was rubbing soothing circles between her shoulder blades.

  Her head turned to the side as she looked at me, and I stepped back, picking up the water and handing it to her. Wordlessly she took a sip and then another. Subtly, she took a step away from me.

  “You scared?” I taunted her, and I felt a grim sense of satisfaction as I saw her hand tighten on the bottle.

  “Of you? No.”

  God, what the fuck was it with this woman? Her words were like a flag to a bull. I stepped closer to her, and I saw her eyes widen in alarm. “You sure about that?”

  “You sure you want to test me? Again?” Her taunting words and reminder of her knocking me on my ass yesterday didn’t have the desired effect she wanted. Instead of backing off, I had her pinned against the counter, both hands behind her back, pulling them down so her back arched and her tits pressed into my chest. When she moved to strike me with her knee, I was ready for her, and I thrust one leg between hers, pressing up. Her small gasp and the flare of heat in her eyes told me I hit the spot.

  “Now what?” With slow, measured movements, I dipped my head into her neck and trailed my nose slowly up the column of her throat. “Tell me, Ava, what are you going to do?”

  “This is bullshit,” she told me angrily.

  I felt her test my hold on her wrists, and I skimmed along her jawline. “You have a mouth on you, don’t you?” I asked as my head moved and I placed my lips next to her ear. “And I remember how hot that sweet little mouth is. I remember you sucking my dick and swallowing me down that tight throat.”

  I could feel her heart hammering her chest, and her breathing was becoming slightly heavier. I knew how she felt. My dick was beginning to wake up, and although I didn’t want her to know that I was as turned on as she was, I was also reluctant to step back.

  Instead of protesting or trying to get away, she stretched as much as she could in my hold, rising up on her toes to reach my ear, and her soft breath against my skin almost caused me to make a mistake. “I thought you had no memory,” Ava mocked me as she moved her head to look at me, and her green eyes met mine. “Or do you protest too much? Devil.”

  We stayed like that, neither willing to back down. Her legs were trembling from the strain she was putting on them, and slowly she lowered herself until she was steady on her feet, but her eyes still held mine in challenge. With a sharp push, I pressed into her more and was rewarded when her eyes widened in alarm. There was no denying she could feel me pressing against her. My dick was so hard it was painful.

  “Be careful, Ava, you don’t want to do this. You won’t like the way I play.” Swiftly, I stepped back, and when she stumbled, I caught her and turned her quickly, pressing her over the counter, her ass rubbing into my crotch exactly as it was supposed to. Slowly I moved until I was almost lying on top of her. “I remember this...I remember how you begged for more.” My teeth nipped her earlobe, and I felt her body shiver. “Now you either want a replay no matter how much you protest, or you want to get the fuck out of my house. Which one?”

  “I want out.” Her quick breathless reply made me grin as I slowly uncoiled and rolled up and off her body.

  “I think I like you better like this,” I mused as my hand trailed along her spine. Letting her go, I stepped back out of reach of her punch should she attack. And I was right, her swing was as wild as the fury in her eyes.

  “You speak to my coach about what happened between us and I’ll ruin you, do you understand?” I asked her as I watched her shaking hands smooth back her hair as she tried desperately to compose herself.

  “Fuck you.” Angrily, she stormed away from me, heading for the kitchen door. “I offered to help you, but maybe I’m hungover after all.”

  “Seems to be a theme,” I snorted. “I’ll be in touch.”

  “Go to hell.” The front door slamming shut behind her made me chuckle. I checked the time, the first quarter would be starting. I was in a better mood to watch the game now.

  By the time the second half had started, I had gotten into three arguments on Twitter, two on Instagram, and had sent both Gray and Ash several angry messages about the mistakes they were making on the field. Knowing they wouldn’t see the texts until after the game just pissed me off more.

  As the final minutes of the last quarter played out, I was grateful that we would be taking home the win. My phone alerted me to a new message.

  Replying to @DevilsASaint#8 You sound like a spoiled brat, how’s the ankle or can’t you remember? @UptightKickedYourAss

  I stared at it, knowing exactly who the tweeter was, even though when I checked the account it was newly opened. I couldn’t believe her. She had balls. I also had to be careful, because what I wanted to say to her, even I knew I couldn’t put on social media.

  Replying to @UptightKickedYourAss Ankle’s good, thanks for being a such a “giving” fan @DevilsASaint#8

  I quickly opened my texts and opened our message thread.

  Me: Don’t fucking dare

  Uptight: Or what?

  Me: Don’t

  Uptight: I told you, you don’t scare me asshole

  She also sent me the one fingered emoji.

  Replying to @DevilsASaint#8 You’re delusional. Alabama is gonna kick your ass…whether you play or not #DanteSpenceis#1 #GoLions #BlueandWhiteforthewin

  Within seconds, my Twitter blew up. And then it was my text messages.

  Gray: Put the fucking phone down

  Ash: Dude you’re tripping, get off SM

  Gray: So help me brother, I will kick your ass! Do not fucking reply to her

  Ash: Is this dick on Twitter Ava?

  Me: Yeah I think so

  Me: You both played like shit

  Gray: Didn’t miss you on the field - dick

  Ash: Ben throws better than you

  Me: @Ash then why can you still not catch the fucking ball?

  Gray: We’re cutting you off SM

  My social media went dead, and I called Gray. It went to voicemail. I tried Ash. Same thing. Fuckers. They’d blocked me from my accounts.

  Heading up to my room, I reluctantly agreed I probably did need to be cut off and should stay in the house until they came home where I could vent my frustration on my brother, my cousin, or both. Opting to ignore good sense, I headed to the shower. Tonight’s plan was cancelled. I texted them both to tell them, and then I turned the phone off. Brushing my teeth, I stared at myself in the mirror, my head running through the routes and plays they should have made today. Picking out black jeans with the knees ripped out and a black V-neck T-shirt, I got ready to leave.

  I was restless, and I was pissed, and only two things calmed me down. One was football, which
was currently being denied to me, and the other was sex. That wasn’t being denied to me, and I had a mind to get laid. Fucking someone else would get a certain blonde out of my head. I hoped.

  As I headed out of the house, I made sure to leave my phone behind me. As pissed off as I was at mostly everyone, I knew better than anyone how ruthless I could be when I wanted something.

  And right now? I wanted to punish Ava and remind her who the fuck she was playing against.

  The music was loud and thumping, but it was Saturday, the football team had won, and the college spirit was high. Mia had scolded me for riling up Jett on Twitter. I wasn’t sure that it had been my smartest move, but he pissed me off. So, watching the game and seeing Kowoski make schoolboy errors that the Santo quarterback wouldn’t, weirdly made me angry. And I didn’t even root for this team. Them playing like they’d never flung the ball before was good for Alabama.

  But…I knew if I was pissed at the way they were playing, Jett would be furious. He was already furious about not playing today and was a dick. A huge dick that needed to be reminded he was not God. No matter how much he loved himself.

  His tweets and comments on Twitter had been downright insulting, and feeling self-righteous on behalf of strangers, who I would normally believe were also assholes, I created a fake account and got involved.

  Just because I knew it would wind him up. And it did.

  And I felt…triumphant.

  Especially when he immediately texted me to tell me to quit it.

  Big mistake. Huge. He may as well have handed me his direct Twitter access. And I called him out, and I declared my team colours.

  And now in the corner of a large living room, at a college party, I may have been regretting my choices. Because the smart, funny shit stopped being funny when Twitter basically imploded on my phone, and I had ended up having to hide my phone as the hate got to be too much.

  On the upside, Mia, after her lecture about my recklessness, had come bounding in my room to tell me that Alex had invited her to go to a party and that Shane had asked if I would go too. He’d texted, but I hadn’t answered, as my phone was still buried and in hiding.