Ruthless Heart Read online

  “I won’t drop the ball on either,” I assured him quietly to his back.

  He looked over his shoulder at me and frowned. “She needs this to happen.”

  “She does, or you do?” I asked him softly. I already knew the answer.

  “Both.” He got off my bed and walked out of my room. I didn’t go after him. My brother didn’t need me chasing him as he chased his own demons.

  My phone lit up.

  Ava: I am. Are we?

  Well, that was the million-dollar question.

  The week had been surreal. People who had never spoken to me before were nice to me, but I soon realised it wasn’t because of the whole drugged water thing, it was because Quinn Lawrence had come to my apartment on Sunday with a bizarre offer about a therapist, and then on Monday morning, she met me at the coffee shop and proceeded to have coffee with me as she walked me to class. She then sat with Mia and me at lunch, and I hadn’t known how to tell her to go away.

  When someone asked her how we were suddenly friends, her smile could have blinded the sun, and I spat out my soda when she told them I was Jett’s girlfriend.

  When I asked her what the fuck was wrong with her, she’d grinned in delight and told me the best way to deal with a Santo was ignore him until he listened.

  Quinn Lawrence was mentally unhinged. I was sure of it.

  Ash sat beside me in Leitch’s class and when Leitch had been about to rail my ass because I hadn’t done the reading over the weekend, Ash had reamed him out. Leitch had been speechless, I’d been struck dumb. Ash was back to my favourite Santo. Kind of.

  In Professor Matson’s class, Jett had sat in the seat beside the guy who usually gave me shit, and the guy had been so nervous he had left the classroom. Jett hadn’t spoken to me or looked at me, but when he left the class, his hand had trailed over the back of my neck once.

  Mia was watching my week unfold like she was binge-watching her favourite TV show. I swore, at one point, she was going to ask me if she could get popcorn.

  Of Derrick, there was no mention. It was my first time ever witnessing money at work. I knew there was an investigation, because I heard the hint of a rumour about spiked water, but from what I could discern, it was an opposing college’s trick to mess with the team. I was in the cafeteria, using my card like I promised the dean and my mom before I sat down to eat my lunch. Quinn was sitting beside me, separating her Skittles into colours and counting them out. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt the need to ask her.

  “What if there were other girls he tried this with? How will anyone ever know?”

  She paused in her counting. I noted all odd numbers were in a pile themselves.

  “Trust me, they’ve put out feelers,” she told me without looking up. “It’s not being forgotten.”

  “It feels like it,” I muttered.

  Quinn raised her head to fix me with that dark stare of hers. “You think the board advocates women being abused?”

  “No.” I shook my head as she raised a perfect eyebrow. “No,” I stressed again. “I just thought…I don’t know.”

  “You’re right, you don’t know, but that doesn’t mean nothing is happening.” Quinn bowed her head again as she resumed splitting her Skittles up.

  “Have you got OCD?” I asked her curiously.

  “No. I just like even numbers.”

  I was pretty sure that was some kind of OCD, but Quinn kind of scared me, so I said nothing until my mouth worked before my brain. “But you’re friends with the Devils.”

  I saw her grin as she pushed a lonely green Skittle to the pile. “Your point?”

  “There’s three of them.”

  “And I make four.”

  Right.

  A large hand reached over her shoulder, and Gray scooped all her odd Skittles into his hand. “You done?” She nodded once, and he tossed the handful into his mouth. “Glad to be of service,” he teased as he walked away. She didn’t lift her head, she didn’t watch him walk away, but I did see her small smile.

  I didn’t understand their relationship. “What if the odd pile was now an even number?” I asked her curiously.

  Quinn blinked at me once. “But the colours didn’t match.”

  She was definitely insane. “Of course.” I nodded as my head screamed what the fuck kind of logic was that?

  Quinn started to eat her Skittles. Two at a time. The colours didn’t mix. It was like watching a lab rat perform tricks; she was weirdly fascinating.

  “So,” she spoke as she watched me shrewdly, “are you done thinking he’s going to come around on his own?”

  This time I blinked. “What?”

  She popped two orange Skittles in her mouth and shrugged. “Jett, he’s a tricky one.”

  “Have you slept with him?”

  She stared and my face burned. Slowly she swallowed her Skittles before she reached for another two. Purple this time.

  “Jett is like a brother to me,” she answered carefully.

  “Is Gray?” My brain and I needed to have a conversation.

  Two green Skittles were selected, and then she skipped them for yellow. “Why is this a question?”

  “You’re right, it’s not my business.” I looked around the cafeteria. I needed Mia.

  “It’s not.” Quinn stood fluidly. Eight green Skittles sat on her tray. “I don’t like green.”

  She walked away, and I sat there looking after her as I deliberately ate the remaining Skittles, one by one.

  After lunch, I walked leisurely to class. The school was a beehive of activity for the Saints home game against the Lions. School spirit was high, and there wasn’t a person in the campus not rooting for the Cardinal Saints.

  Even me.

  Yup, I was full on black and silver. I had no idea how I would break it to my mom.

  I heard the chanting and turned as I saw Jett, Ash, Jamie and some others walking across campus. They all had their football jerseys on, but my eyes were glued to number eight. He looked incredible as he crossed the green. He was smiling at something Ash said, and I saw him shake his head at his cousin as Jamie laughed.

  They were headed to the stadium. They had practice, and classes for them were off. We needed the win against Alabama to make it to state. Resting against a wall, I watched them. I saw him turn his head as his brother joined them. From here, they looked more like twins.

  Jett dipped his head to hear his brother, and then he was looking across the campus to look at me. Well, I wasn’t sure if it was me, but it felt like it. He held my stare for a moment, and then he was turning away.

  I let out the sigh I was holding as sadness washed over me, and when my phone vibrated in my pocket, I pulled it out, disheartened.

  Jett: You look good today

  Looking at my jean skirt and T-shirt, I doubted it. My T-shirt was plain blue, and it wasn’t until I went to class that I realised it was the same colour of his eyes.

  I woke that night to him in my bedroom. He was on the chair at my desk, the bedsheet that I had taken from his bed in his hands. I’d kept it, in a bag at the back of my closet. I had no idea why. Panic? I had just known on that Saturday morning, he couldn’t come home to a bloodstained sheet. He’d have been looking for me. He thinks he wouldn’t, but he would have.

  “I should have thrown it away,” I spoke quietly.

  Jett said nothing as he stared at me, and then he stood fluidly, his face void of emotion. “Burn it,” he said before he went to the door. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” I asked as I raised myself onto my elbows to look at him. “For having sex with me? Then or later? Or both?”

  “For being a bastard.”

  He left me without another word, and I stared at the ceiling, wondering when in the hell did I fall for the Devil, and how was I going to make him understand he cared for me as much as I did him?

  “If you don’t wear it, I will never talk to you again.”

  Looking at my best friend, I fought the eye
roll. “Mia, no.”

  “But I got it made!” she wailed. “You need this, he needs this.”

  I looked at the T-shirt. It was black with the Saints mascot—an actual saint—on the front holding a red devil’s trident. On the back was a large silver number eight, and although I loved the T-shirt, she knew as well as I did that I couldn’t wear it.

  “I cannot claim to be his,” I hissed at her. “What if he hooks up with someone and I’m wearing this like a loser?”

  “He isn’t going to hook up with anyone!” Mia wagged her head back and forth as she threw her hands in the air. “You owe me a top.”

  That was kind of mean. I couldn’t believe she went there; it wasn’t my fault that Jett had ripped the top she bought me last week. As I stared at her and she rolled her eyes back at me, I knew she would get her way, so I held my hand out in resignation. “Give it to me.”

  Mia crowed in triumph, and I shrugged out of my tank top and pulled the T-shirt on. “Sizes are small,” I told her.

  “No, you need to let him remember you have curves and remind him how much he loves your curves.”

  “Mia!”

  “Hush, I think high ponytail for effect.” Her hands were already in my hair, and I decided to give in and let her do what she wanted. My nerves were already shot for today, so worrying about Jett not liking my T-shirt was not a big deal. Jett getting injured or, worse, hooking up with someone else…that made me feel sick.

  Eventually when she was finished putting makeup on me for a football game, she let me leave the apartment.

  Like all the other thousands of supporters, we walked to the stadium, black and silver mixing with blue and white. Balloons and decorations dominated the campus, and it was so hard to not get caught up in the buzz.

  At the stadium, Quinn was at the entrance, and she rolled her eyes as she saw us. “Finally, I almost sent someone to get you!” she snapped as she fastened two wrist bands around our arms. Her hair was also in a ponytail. Black jeans and a Saints jersey completed her outfit. I noted that there was no number on her back. She turned me swiftly to admire my T-shirt. “Nice.”

  “Mia made it,” I told her.

  “Sure.” Quinn pulled me forward.

  I looked back at Mia, who looked sheepish. “It was her idea.”

  They ganged up on me? When did this happen?

  “Where are we going?” I asked as I was hauled through a crowd.

  “To the seats. If I miss them warming up, I will not be happy.”

  She was happy now? I trailed after her, reaching behind me to grab Mia, who was grinning in excitement.

  We were in the family seats, and I felt anxious again as I looked around nervously. “Quinn?”

  “Our parents are in the box, but I like to be down here for warm-up,” she told me as she watched the tunnel. “They need to know they have support all through the game, including warm-ups.”

  I nodded. Whatever reservations I had about Quinn, it was clear she was fiercely loyal to her friends.

  The crowd that was already in the stadium cheered when the Saints came running out to practice. Quinn definitely sounded like the loudest. I saw their heads turn, and I saw number eight stumble. I wanted to run. This was a bad idea.

  “Best he sees you now and gets over it,” Quinn said to me with a satisfied smirk.

  Coach Bowers was already yelling at them, and I watched the team go through their paces. Jett threw the ball repeatedly down field as Ash and Gray did quick sprints to limber up. I knew the rest of the team was doing things, but all I could watch was the Saints QB.

  His jersey was tucked up over his pads, and his black undershirt was already sticking to his body. Black pants sculpted his thighs and ass, and I knew I was completely objectifying him.

  “Your tongue’s out,” Mia whispered to me as she giggled.

  “He’s just so goddamn sexy. I want to lick him all over,” I told her loudly over the noise.

  “Hello, we’re the twins’ parents.”

  My eyes closed, and I felt Quinn laugh beside me. Turning, I plastered a smile on my face.

  “Hi.”

  “Ava?” Jett’s mom looked exactly like Jett, only softer.

  “Yeah, um, hi.” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. “Sorry.”

  “It’s fine,” she assured me as she hugged me.

  “Oh, right.” I hesitantly returned the hug.

  “Your shirt’s amazing. Quinn, you’ve been decorating again?” Jett’s mom quickly hugged the dark-haired girl.

  “It’s not like it’s graffiti.” Quinn shrugged.

  “You’re the tagger?” I said as my mouth dropped open.

  “Shh,” Quinn shushed me. “You want to get me in trouble?”

  I never in a million years imagined it would be Quinn. Would anyone?

  “I hear you like football, Ava,” Jett’s dad said to me.

  “Yes, very much, sir.”

  “Kerr is fine,” he corrected. “Who’s your money on today?”

  I licked my lips. I hesitated. Kerr Santo nodded thoughtfully as he watched his family on the field. “I agree.” He turned to me. “Follow me.”

  I had no reasonable objection, and as Quinn stood there introducing Jett’s mom to Mia, I followed his dad off the bleachers and down into the stadium and into a small office.

  “You have five minutes, Ava, use it wisely.”

  As he shut me in, I looked around the room in confusion before the door opened again and Jett was there. His hair was already messy from warm-up, and his cheeks were flushed. Two black grease marks ran across his cheeks, and I watched him as he slowly closed the door.

  “Ava,” he growled as he crossed the room, and then his hands were in my hair, his lips were devouring me, and my hands were clutching him to me. “I don’t have much time,” he whispered against my lips.

  “What do you need to win?” I asked without hesitation.

  “You. On my tongue.”

  Honestly, I’d been thinking pep talk or something, and my jaw slackened.

  Jett grinned, and then I was laughing along with him. He wrapped his arms around me. “I think I’ve been a dick.” He pulled me tight into him.

  “You need to think of the game,” I told him seriously. “You can do this today. Seriously, the defence is so good Spence won’t know what hit him.”

  Jett stood back and looked down at me. “You’re putting the win today in the hands of Woods?” he asked me.

  “Jamie’s been really bringing his A game,” I said to him with a completely straight face.

  Jett stared at me for a long moment before he fisted my T-shirt and dragged me up to meet his lips. “You’ll pay for that,” he promised as he kissed me.

  “Bring it,” I teased him as I kissed him back. “After you beat the Lions today.”

  “I missed you,” he whispered as his arms wrapped around me again. “I missed this.” I smiled at his words before he slapped my ass hard. “Defence will win it, like fuck they will,” Jett scoffed with a grin as he headed to the door. He looked back at me, sobering. “You’re okay?”

  “I am now,” I told him with a happy smile.

  He smiled back but his eyes still showed his doubt. “You sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m perfect.” I nodded, his concern for me was touching.

  “You are.” He hesitated one more time. “We’re going to be okay.” His smile was so confident, I melted as I realised that he wanted us as much as I did.

  “We’re going to be more than okay,” I promised him. “I switched football teams for you, don’t make me regret it.”

  He was back in front of me, and his lips covered mine. “Because you’re mine,” he growled. “I need to go.” He kissed me quickly once more. “Your ass is mine after this,” he called over his shoulder as he flashed me a grin before he left me there to go win the game.

  And they did.

  I watched her come back from the office, her lips bruised from kisses, her cheeks flushed fr
om happiness, and when she smiled at me, I returned it. I had gotten so good at plastering a smile on my face, no one cared anymore if it was real. Only one person saw through my fakeness, and he was on the field, catching balls.

  “He treat you right?” I asked her, making my tone light.

  “I think he will.” She beamed at me. I felt a small sliver of happiness for them. Jett needed someone wholesome like Ava. Someone who was fierce in her own right but needed protecting.

  They told me she had put Derrick on the ground. She looked so slight, but she had fight, and that’s why my best friend was falling in love with her. He hadn’t admitted it yet, but he was. She was already head over heels for him. She wore her heart on her sleeve, and I wondered at her bravery to show her emotions so openly.

  The Santos huddled together for the first play of the game. Ash stood slightly taller than his cousins, but he was by no means the tallest on the field.

  “Ash has really slimmed down and toned up,” I heard Kerr compliment Kage, and I forced my face to remain blank.

  “Yeah, he says Gray’s been really careful with what they’re eating,” Kage answered. I felt him nudge me. “They keep this up, they may not need you,” he teased.

  Never. They would always need me.

  “Who do you think is telling my son what to cook,” Sable said with a laugh. Her arm circled my shoulders. “They’ll always need you,” she said as she kissed my head. I smiled up at her.

  I was a Santo in everything but name. We’d had a rough two years since I broke up with Ash—well, he broke up with me, but we were disastrous from the start. Ash had refused to be in the same room as me, and Onyx, the twins’ older, wilder brother, had taken Ash’s side because Onyx was a fucking sociopath. Gray had kept silent, which Ash had taken as solidarity, and Jett had been neutral. Jett would never turn his back on me; I was his best friend, and although he would never understand why I did what I did, he would always be there for me.

  “I thought you did sports therapy?” Ava asked me as her eyes stayed trained on number eight.

  “Nutrition too,” I answered.

  “That’s awesome.” She was nodding, but she may as well have been on the field. Jett had passed the ball, and Ash was already breaking away to race down the field.